Why do I have to have a title?

I used to be okay with being alone.  For 2 years, I was pretty much alone, all the time, except when I was with my kids.

Maybe alone isn't the right word.  

I used to be okay with not having friends my age.  For the past 2 years, I didn't hang out with anyone with the exception of my bestie, Alisa.  We would hang out every couple of weeks or so.  Other than her, I didn't have friends.

I didn't know what I was missing.

Now, if I haven't seen any of my close friends in a day, I start freaking out.  Well, not really freaking out, but I feel withdrawal.  One of my new best friends, Sarah, was leaving to go home for the weekend, and we were talking about how it's really hard to leave here.  And she is only going to be gone for the weekend!  She and I are feeling a little lost without each other, and we have only known each other for a month.  We've talked about how weird it will be to leave all these people for Christmas break.  That's like a whole month and a half without each other.

I was never like this before!  I was fine being by myself.  I wasn't freaking out when I didn't see any of my friends.  So what changed?  Why do I feel like this now?

Maybe sometimes when you pray for something, God answers abundantly.  I prayed for years not to be alone anymore.  I was specifically praying for a boyfriend, but I think that God answered my prayers in a different way: by giving me friends.  And a lot of them.  And really super awesome friends.

I do know that I never want to go back to the way I was before.  I am a little bit scared that when I leave this place and we all scatter to the ends of the earth, we won't be more than facebook friends.  Because I want to have lasting relationships with the people that I've become close to here.

Also, a boyfriend would be nice, but I think I am going to give up on that for now, since the guys that I'm interested in have shown no interest in me.